Tuesday, July 24, 2007
just for laughs.
just got this in an email :D
Funny Real Life Legal Court Recordings
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of some thing you forgot?
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Do you really know what you said?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you joking? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new Attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and
had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
No offence to any lawyers......
hahahah.. no idea how factual it really is though!
Monday, July 16, 2007
wahah! who posted those below? they're pretty funny :D i'm saying this here because i can't tag on the tagboard. stupid cbox. 403 forbidden again!
glad we met up on saturday! (: hardly took any photos! just a few.. if you guys wanna check out, it's at my photoblog, as usual (:
i'm so sian, almost all the girls not working alrdy, ONLY ME. zzz.
let's go send Justine off on 7aug okay?
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
just something entertaining...
Sunday, July 08, 2007
you know you are from 05s75 when
okie i was sort of inspired to do this after reading a similar one on "you know you are a vet student when..." on facebook haha.extremely funny that one, you can ask me for it if you want.ya fel's right, we should set up a facebook account!7A has one...
add on your own too k?below are some examples from me, fel and ty :)
"You know you are from 05s75 when":
- the strategy for orientation games is 'screw the games, we'll just win all the cheering competitions'
- you witnessed the setting up of rainbow club and its subsequent rather quick liquidation
- we pwn all the other s7s at bio but strangely no one takes bio S
- similarly half the class takes physics S and yet our physics sucks (a record 2nd from bottom for BT2 among s7s)
- you know the true meaning of GTG
- you know the actions that go with "like whatever~" and "like totally~"
- frisbee is a favourite pasttime and probably the only sport outside napfa we'll do as a class (we are so not a sporty class)
- lagging is another favourite class activity: 2h or more just to decide where to go after blocks anyone?
- guys lag more than girls
- seating arrangements in the audi: girls one row, guys the other
- you know who's mario
- despite all our bitchings about mario, we're actually grateful that he was our ________
- we clock the highest attendance at fac events (hey actually we are damn enthu about lots of stuff, relatively)
- we feel we learn more in one hour of _____'s lesson as compared to _______'s lesson
- mugging sessions in the reading room turn out to be hot dates with pocky, pringles, and assorted snacks - blatant disregard for the 'no eating' notice.seriously who cares really?mugging burns glucose in the brain = more glucose intake required =D
- break from mugging sessions turn out to be sexual education discussions
- we don our sec sch uniforms though JAE is long over(approx. a yr and a half) just to take a 75 photo in the central plaza
- we are pissed at a certain copy-cat class (you know who!) who koped our class formation in the central plaza idea, oh yea and the student council too?
- there's cake to eat and cards to sign every month
- you've seen the largest stack of OCPs outside the GO
- first day of school and we 'forget' that no one is allowed out of school until 1 even if school has already ended
- there was a period of time when maplestory was the in-thing
- tuesdays are special days: you get to brush up on certain languages and wonder why someone turned out like that when he/she was so cute when he/she was young etc etc.
- as usual, most of the girls and just a few select guys participate in such special days
- a classroom is turned into a mini disco with the aid of a few wires cleverly connected to an ipod-nano. K.I.S.S ^^
- you know what is K.I.S.S
- tutorials are silent affairs where we all try our utmost to avoid eye-contact, except in ms tan's lesson cos there's no point.she knew all our names right from the beginning and was definitely smart enough to not wait for volunteers to answer questions.not saying that our other tutors were not smart okay!
- you know when's the class birthday(s) and actually celebrate it!
- you converted a jc classroom into a kindergarten classroom to celebrate the nation's birthday
- you've seen some of us looking like tourists during certain chemistry practicals
- you know who's really tom & jerry, not the cat and mouse of course duh! (oops sorry i posted it, no murders please, world peace :))
- girls are the only people who exist in 05s75 during mass dance sessions
- singing of hc songs is a must at school events (damn we are so enthu)
- you know where's The Warren and had (almost half) a dozen marathons there [& actually miss the place!]
-you colonize other people's class benches when you have your own
-"abnormal" is pronounced "eh-bee-normal"
- if you're reading this and nodding, then you're a seven-fiver :)
brings back fond memories, eh?
hey yo... To all those who knows bleach (i think i've showed many ppl)...
From the gentle uncle...Kentucky Fried Chicken
To the scary man...Kenpachi Fried Chicken
The wonders you do with your photoshop...
ps: those who don't know anything about bleach, sorry!
Thursday, July 05, 2007
it's 07-05-2007 darlings!
have a good day! ((:
Monday, July 02, 2007
a corporate video
any comments? (: